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Thursday, March 22nd, 2012
4:32 pm - The Wheels - a novel by Fiodor Moskovtsev

Title: "The Wheels"
Genre: fiction, drama
Author: Fiodor Moskovtsev, for sure need to promote)))
Summary: a real incident (wheels theft, unlawful use of weapons) that occurred in the spring of 2011 in St. Petersburg. Translated from Russian. 
Read more...Collapse )

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Friday, December 11th, 2009
2:28 pm - Passions of Insanity


NOTE: I wrote this last year, when I was going through a tough-ish time and really needed to just write and focus myself. So it's actually quite grounded in reality, about 90% real, I think. x'D But yeah, it's a while ago, I'm not so crazy anymore. :B Also...yes, I did graduate this summer; I was just sort of writing ahead, a bit, if you will. But anyhow, even though this started out just as a crazy ramble to try to sort out my spinning head, it turned into a long piece of writing that....I actually quite enjoyed. :'D I'm pleased with how it turned out; hopefully you will like it too? x3

~~Tick Tock, tick tock. 4:30 in the morning, pitch black skies, ghosts and fears standing outside her window.

She’s drawing, she’s singing, she’s writing, she’s trembling. She’s sketching another one of her beautiful boys, her dreamy angels, her perfect heroes. She’s fussing over his right eye – it has to be just perfect. It has to be lovely, handsome, filled with emotion and time. His brow – it has to arch perfectly, heavily, in his pained expression. Oh her beautiful boy.

She erases for the hundredth time.

Soundtrack songs are mixed along with modern ones – a selective, random circulation of her favorite songs going on in her earphones. Her dog whimpers and she hears a singer cry. One Republic, Owl City. Lenka, some Club 8 too. And, of course, Howard Shore strums up another perfect orchestra. I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through, Jason Mraz sighs, and she rocks her head back and forth to the beat. Yes, and the feeling inside keeps building.

4:30 in the quiet dark, not quite midnight, not quite morning. The streets are silent, the animals are hidden; the wind blows unobtrusively along its path. Fingers tap at her window. She takes a deep breath.

Tremble, tremble. Shiver, shake. The heart struggles, struggling against something unseen. It quakes, it quails. It quivers, it flails. It needs...something. Anything to relieve it.

But how do you help something when you don’t know what is ailing it? How do you fight off something when you don’t even know what to fight?

Boy bands curse as she throws her pencil in frustration. Forget that stupid eye – she holds the page up, examining it unhappily. It’s a failure. She looks it over, tilts it this way and that. Failure. She spent two hours agonizing over it, she tried so hard, but it’s just a failure in the end. Her boy does not look as beautiful as he should be, her girl is slumped over in an awkward position. The whole picture does not flow, there is too much blood, and it is unnatural. She tosses it aside.

Flow. Nothing flows. Time flows. She stacks her arts away, glancing at the clock. Time sure flows fast. Time is evil, time is cruel. Time has no pity. Time never loved her. Or perhaps she just never got to know him well enough?

It was most likely her fault.

She shivers, spasms passing through her upper body. Spring has not come with warmth, and winter is lounging, lazy to get up and walk away. She’s been sitting in the same unhealthy position for far too long in her chair. Slumped over, she’s surprised she hasn’t developed osteoporosis yet. She sits back up again, her spine trembling weakly, rocking her body. Her feet are sweating strangely as they stay still on her hot computer battery. Imbalance, everywhere.

Beep beep, beep beep. An alarm clock rings. 5 in the morning. The memories don’t give up.

If only she could have their persistence. But it can be learned, right?

Mournful music plays, lamenting the death of a wonderful warrior, a hero, a king. Pipes and strings and other things. A dirge, really. A woman vocalizes in the background, and stirs the keys that lie in her own heart. She hums, caught by the music, unable to resist.

Passions are hard to not follow. Temptations, so tempting; stirring and swaying and arousing. Trilling, harmonizing, she sings along with the goddess who vocalizes her ethereal spell.

A paper fell out when she was cleaning up her art. Graduation forms. Cap and gowns still to order. For what? Her graduation. Graduation from what? From high school. But wait – graduation from what?


For others maybe. For her – she sighs. She smiles. It is satire, really. They make it seem like such a great thing – but it comes with pain too. For some more so than others. Is there such a thing as happiness without sorrow?

Graduation. A rite of passing, of sorts, for everyone. Everyone did it. But what did you do? Why did you do that? Why? Why. Why oh god oh why??

Senior year. A year of what? For her, honestly? A year of pain. Junior year – she fucked up. Senior year – she fucked up again. Failures everywhere. And there was so much more screwing in between.

Everyone would be graduating this year, everyone she went to class with, everyone she talked with, everyone she laughed with. Friends, classmates, old enemies. Everyone would be wearing their caps and gowns and smiling and beaming. Snap the cameras will go, and beams, beams everywhere. Smile! You’re done!

Her friends and classmates will all be wearing their tassels and cords. Their honorary certificates and their rewards for having paid some fees over four years. She paid them too – for her first two years, that is. But they don’t let anyone who fucks up pay the fees. So she lost it all – her honorary membership, her tassel and cord, her four or five bucks. Failure.

She lost more. She lost her college. Everyone jumping around and beaming some more – I got into Stanford! Berkeley! Oxford and Yale and Harvard and the entire Ivy League! I’m going to UC this, UC that. She could have been one of them too. She wanted to be one of them. She was on the right track – for the first two years. But then she let herself fuck up. Failure.

She wasn’t dumb, she wasn’t sick. But she was seriously, seriously, messed up. She could have been great, she could have done well – she had even wanted to be valedictorian freshman year. Back in middle school, coming from a private, she didn’t know there was such a thing as a valedictorian. But after she watched her friend become the glamorous speechmaker in eighth grade, she told herself she’d do that in high school. It wasn’t impossible. All she had to do was work for it, and she could get it. All you had to do to get anything was work for it.

Well, yeah, everything pretty much went out the door. Perhaps four years is too long a time to keep track and hold onto all your wishes, perhaps she’s just making excuses.

5:30 in the morning and she cries. She cries, and no tears fall, but she cries in her heart. It’s still struggling, bashing her, punishing her. Regret is like time. Regret is cruel too. Loss is unbearable.

Her favorite hero fights and falls against the background of a frantic, dramatic, screaming instrumental. It picks at her own desperate heart, bringing it up another notch in sadness.

Everybody falls, but two years is a long time to have kept on making mistakes. And nobody has that much patience. She was sure everybody was probably as fed up with her as she was. Nobody normal has the heart of a martyr, the patience of a saint. She should have learned from her first mistakes, and not repeated them all over again. In the end, it was all her own fault, her own doing. Now she had two more years to fix it all, to try to patch up her gaps. Perhaps she could get back on track this time, she has one more chance. Perhaps she could at last learn, and do it right this time.

But don’t let the patches be threadbare strips this time. Don’t let the glue be useless. Don’t stick it all together with empty words – and then pull it all apart.

She’ll work this time. Loss is bad enough once. Failure is not pleasant.

She’ll feel it this year, when that time comes. When the music plays and the parents cheer and the kids scream, she’ll feel it. She’ll cheer too, but will it be heartfelt for her? Perhaps she’ll feel left out. She’s graduated, but doing what? Fucking up. She didn’t work like everyone else did, she didn’t persist like she should have, she didn’t accomplish anything she had wanted to accomplish and she didn’t achieve any of her goals. She didn’t get any of anything that was within her potential, because she didn’t have the strength enough to chase it. That by itself was enough to put her to shame. Perhaps her counselor could tell her pretty words and try to smooth all the blame away, but she couldn’t listen. She couldn’t just make herself guiltless and tell herself everything was all right. She wasn’t trying to be pigheaded, it was just what her gut said was right.


And everyone would know she had fucked up on that day too. Perhaps she’d be the only one in her classes who didn’t receive the tassel and cord. Perhaps that would mark her out as vividly as her fateful eleventh grade scarlet letter. Perhaps she’d be the only one with no grand college to go to. Perhaps she’d be a lot of things, that’s for sure.

The kids scream, the parents scream, the crowd keeps screaming and screaming. The Dark King screams as the hero stabs his black heart, and her body screams as well. Time is still passing cruelly, regret is still clinging coldly. Early in the morning and pain still keeps looking in her window.

And all her friends. She opens up her computer documents, her journals, her thoughts, her rambles, her favorite quotes and her friend’s stories. She reads through them randomly, selecting things here and there to satiate her searching mind. It’s seeking something, it wants something, it wants to help the heart stop struggling.

Passion is wonderful. It’s frightening, it’s strange, it’s beautiful, it’s powerful. It sweeps you like a tidal wave and it comes in so many forms. It shakes and rocks and drives your soul insane. It makes you do funny things, and it makes you want to sing and laugh and cry and die at the same time. It’s passionate to draw, passionate to write, it’s luscious and ripe like the sweetest note in a haunting song. Passion is something she wants and doesn’t want at the same time, something she loves and admires and shuns at the same time.

Some way or the other, her readings melt and her thoughts pool down to one other. Another persistence of memory.

He’s going away to college. He’s got no screw ups like she has. He kept himself on track, focused on his goal; he knew what he wanted. He’s everything she admires.

He’s a voice, a thought, a face that refuses to fade. He lingers in her days and on her earphones at night. His songs are lovely, perfect. The kind a hero would play.

She thought she had gotten over him for a while. But it was another lie. Nothing that cuts into your memories ever heals. Time is not kind enough to help you fully recover. She could run for a while, but soon enough he would catch up to her. And now she knows she would still fall for him all over again.

Continue reading here~ thank you!Collapse )

current mood: cold

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Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
10:00 pm - Call for Submissions
onlyareader To Writers and Artists,

We are accepting works (poetry, short stories, and artwork, including photography) to launch our inaugural issue of our magazine, The Fine Line. The deadline for submissions is March 31, 2010.

For guidelines on how to submit please visit our website: http://thefineline00.wordpress.com/

Looking forward to reading your work,
Co-Editors of The Fine Line

current mood: ecstatic

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Saturday, November 14th, 2009
10:18 pm - Invitation to Join need_a_beta!


Hello everyone!

Are you looking for a fun, active, and interactive place to get beta help for your creative writings? Want a place where you can get grammar help, character development assistance, feedback about plot holes and story logistics, help with pacing, and also post and discuss writing topics, brainstorm ideas, request and get prompts, and participate in occasional writing games?

Well then,[info]need_a_beta may just be the place for you!

Check out our community rules here.

Our[info]need_a_beta community welcomes writers and readers of fanfiction and original fiction- and we are looking for new and active members! Come join us, there are plenty of ways and opportunities to participate, as a writer, reader, or both, but most importantly we’re all about writing and having fun!

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Sunday, April 20th, 2008
9:41 am

This time I have a personal essay. I'm supposed to edit it, but I am really bad at writing about myself, so I am completely stuck. My main problem is the ending, so any help would be nice.
(Crossposted in a lot of places, sorry if this floods your f-list.)

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Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
4:05 pm - One Who Walks Away From Omelas


Title: One Who Walks Away From Omelas
Genre: Drama
Rating: PG-13
Author: </a></b></a>kittypryde87
Summary: Original work. Based on Ursula K. LeGuin's "The One Who Walk Away from Omelas"
Comments: This is for my AML 3041 class. It is a creative response, as opposed to a critical analysis, and I'm rather pleased. Critique is heavily encouraged. (Sorry if I'm flooding your f-lists.)

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12:12 pm - Sand Sculptures (Hopefully the final draft)

Title: Sand Sculptures
Genre: Drama
Rating: PG-13
Author: </a></b></a>kittypryde87
Summary: Original work. Emily Trask comes home to meet with her old boyfriend, and contemplates their relationship.
Comments: I've reworked this story, yet again, and I think it's finally ready. Any critique will be greatly appreciated, but I'm hoping that any issues have finally been resolved.

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Thursday, September 22nd, 2005


welcome to the mojoverse

thing about government is,
everybody talks about it but

nobody can do anything about
it. right? ain't that right DICK.

"You shut up."

&quot;Shut up.&quot;Just give it up. you are wasting
your time. no one really cares what

you think and if they do --
so what.  we RULE and we're supposed to

and even if we aren't WE

we are liars. You can't do
anything about it or pin any thing on

us. NOBODY CARES what you
THINK and that's the way of the world,

little boy, that's the way
of the world.  

Doesn't that make you feel
small? pathetic, that's the way you and

people like you who don't

small and powerless and in
your place -- on your knees, your backs

bent to hard labor so that
I can wake up... and enjoy sausages. 


oh...my heart..."

the font used for the main body of
this satire (!) is Times New Roman.

quit harping on the same
tired themes.  no one cares what you

think, do or say anyway  I AM

nothing, weakand stupid, you

Just give it up. WE RULE. And no
one will ever be able to change that.  hey, stop hitting me. Ow!"

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Monday, August 22nd, 2005
9:57 am - when they only SEEM to care

this group is DAID, right?

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Friday, July 8th, 2005
6:12 pm
jazxxxxxxxx 1gtdfg

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Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
2:23 pm - anti manifesto: capitalism begat socialism


Not a great
place for a Christian

Saint george and the Dragon of Delusion.

by HALIM the MALACLYPSEthe central scrutinzer central scrutinizer of the LEGIONS

The point of George W. Bush, Born-Again Christian is precisely that he
presents and offers himself to the world as a Christian businessman -- so what
does he care if he is judged by non Christians -- or even people of

it's a fool's error to see a person with a speech impediment and a
learning disability as stupid. we could easily call his robot hearted
snering sidekick a fat retard. wouldn't make it true. he is
more...bloated and paunchy than fat per
. but we were discussing George. he never got a name of his

he was named and raised to follow in his father's footsteps -- life in hell"so what if he
wanted to be a cowboy. You're going to the top spot son," george
herbert probably said, "and i will make sure no damed 'electorate' can
stand in our way."

Basically those blinded by hatred are uterly neutralized in the ongoing
campaign to fix america and create an effective public government.

Absolutely useless -- caught up in the civil Civil war between Left and
Right, Conservative and Liberal - they are effectively divided and
conquered and drowned out by the echoes of their won blaming
hatred.  They can't make a difference -- they are neutral and the
chaos of argument -- so a bunch of people shouting rhetoric who can
barely hear themselves think -- to say nothing of the arguments of the
other side -- are reduced to absurdity (reductio ad absurdem) by their
own shouting, denial and judgement.  Sad.  but that is the
old trick of the Republican Party -- divide, conquer and rule. As a
reform party volunteer i see right hrough the tepid backwash of both
parties --

but this is about the current seated president.

What is wrong here is that he moved into a shitty job with a rotted
infrastructure. Remeber Gerald Ford?compassion or guilt is etched onhis face..maybe a little of both. &quot;It&apos;s Homer Simpson, sir.&quot;  &quot;...and You&apos;re Not.&quot;
Chase does,
and the revealed-by-satire pattern
of Gerald Ford was that he was a stumbling
who fell out of Air Force  One -- too eager to get
back to Presidin' to wait for the fucking PLANE to come to a full stop.

mistakes of the past play a part here.  If we cannot understand
the OFFICE  of teh American President -- we will have someone to
blame -- wrongfully with more friendly fire and more tax breaks for the
rich, when we have Watergate all over again all over again in 2008 when
you fail, Liberal pansy, to find someone to take down Dick Cheney -- or
whever Cheney chooses to represent his shadowy grab for influence. But
if her were to run tomorrow -- who would be able to stand against
him?  ome other guy ready to die boldly in the polls as did John
"Clayface" Kerry?

the OFFICE of president of the United states is one that invites a
killer.  Without a readiness to kill (break a commandment) there
can be no American President as the constitutional republic cuently
stands. But I see as I walk down the American street where I live that
infrastructural revitalization is ccurring courtesy of pothole -
plagued PennDOT -- in a region notorious for bad roads.

People who hate Bush deserve to feel cheated -- hate will not cure our
nations ills. And after 200+ years - neither will any new president.
Kerry could have made a mess in Korea as well as in Iraq - and in his
debates he promised to make a mess of Korea -- war in Korea being one
of the selling points Klayface used to make friends and influence
people in other countries into fearing ANY american president.

Little is spoken of George W. Bush's alcohol addiction in calm
scientific mediacl tones -- it is usually the cold hatefil derision of
eople who will later, well, drink in moderation and have no sympathy
for those who suffer from alcoholism, a disease.

 -- perhaps a cold hearted and distant parent forcing a child into
a role not of his choosing drove a man to drink -

 and also despite learning dificulties perhaps also brought on by
a cold and dysfunctional home life -- to embrace the American Qu'ran --
the Bible.

can you understand how a youth informed that he was to become a memeber
of a dynastic Luciferian cult -- the internationally recognized
'Brotherhood of Death' -- the Hellfire Club of Yale == can you
understand how a young man might turn to drink?  And to the Bible?
to save his own soul?

Bush presides like a guy who works in a fast food joint who hate sthe
world. he wise cracks, he is lackidaisical -- he is perfunctory and he
goofs up -- many people think he is not fit for the job!

 I would cal him inept and unfit to command the American military.

And I would say that until the Federal infrastructure is repaired we
will get no better in the white House. That's right -- no one better.
No one will do effectively better than george W. Bush until the federal
infrastructure is reformed so that offices cannot be purchased by rich
dynasts like Bush the Elder. i know what i am talking about here -- as
anyone who has heard the hollow laughter and witnessed first hand the
smirks of republicans like Rick Santorum when questioned about CFR. --
Bush's unbeatability and seeming teflon kid status does not make him a
great president. The problem is with The Office. That chair invites
corruption as the System stands... Did you notice that as soon as
preident W. hjfferson linto came uinder senatorial fire, death started
happening in Somalia? Bil Clinton killed at that point - a man who got
my vote - even though I was more impressed by his young pretty wife's
determination to create a comprehensive heathcare package
--   the pothead, you know, the guy who enjoys fellation and
wants you to define "had". Clinton's quibbling over the meaning of
small words is about the same in a way as george Junior's
misprununciation of spelling bee fatalizers like "subliminal" and

Clinton in other words was no better a man than Bush. This is where the
center provides insight, leftights and uptight white wingers.

Clinton, a neoLiberal, a Centrist and a would be bridge-builder who
could not figure out how to beat the cheat-to-win strategies of the
Grand Old Party.  He was crucified in Senatorial hearings and now
cannot run for any
political office -- I would welcome Bill Clinton as a Philadelphia
Mayor wholeheartedly. But his career as a lawyer was silenced by th
conspiratorial cheat-to-win practices of Bush FAMILY men  (George
Herbert, CIA, behind the controls, always the Shadow King -- and the
man who forced George W. - Neil got his OWN Name but W. was set up to
be the dynastic figurehead -- learn to see these things It will be
useful for effective democratic action later -- ) and thus there was no
comprehensive health care program and the Christian extremest Radicals
ofthe White Right Wing used their hatred like a cudgel to sabatoge a
elected offical -- leading to the great Gore-Bush controversies of
2000. Some Americans wll stolidly obdurately refuse to move on until
DIEBOLD's questional business propmises are disifected by the
penetrating sunlight of media scrutiny and the hot cameras of a Media
empowered by the truth, the core truth of democratic ideation -- vox
populi, vox dei.  Not an absurd notion -- But Republicans despise
it. Why do you think they are in power in the international
constitutional republic? Democracy is what republicans LOATHE and love
to name drop like a fart at a tender moment - their lies about the Free
world and the Democracy are recognizedasthe Republican's way of doing

to those who desire justice -- hating bush has made you blind. You need
to back up and look at the family of shame who surround Bush --
Condoleeza "Condi" Rice, UGLY John Snow, tax evader and cheat, and
sneering richard Cheney, the friendly fire specialist who has a huge
conflict of interest. becae IF YOU FAIL TO  You are emulating
Democratic bearded loser (and PMRC Supporter) Gore -- who had tons of
dirt on the bush Administration and didn't use it al through debates
that should not, we see now, been so close -- when the election was
that close Gore GEEK'D and refused to fight for the office -- like The
Man Who Didn't care When The vox populi mattered most -- or like a geek
who copuld invent an internet but couldn't get down and scrap when it
mattered. REMEMBER where Al Gore is from -- and remeber that that south
of the mason dixon is where slavery -- now rendered into wage slavery
for the benefit of the Military Industrial complex who need your tax
money to turn blood into oil -- remeber that there was a war that
defined the modern Nation -- a war for the right o hold human people as
hostages for labor -- a war that had as its theme racism. Not much has
changed in the federal Infrastructure and it must.

What is the end of being human?

The goal?

Moralist, Rationalist, Empiricist,

Elusive as Zeno’s arrow[1]

Reduced to mere Forms[2].


In the myth of the cave[3],

Chained to the wall by Parmenidian schackles
of paradox[4],

One thinks ‘to be’ always was –

And ‘what was’ is absolute.


What we have become

shadows on the wall of the cave

Reflecting the phenomena that are now behind us.


The shadows are the ghosts of the ancients

us with what it is to be human:


Reductio ad absurdem[5].

Reg Urbanowski


The Republican

Republican Molochian

By: Dennis
- 11/17/03


After years of effort,
conservative ideologues have succeeded in legislatively winning a
"partial birth" abortion ban. 

Although no such terminology exists in any medical literature, the
rarely used procedure has been sensationally made into a guilt icon,
obfuscating the fact that it's primarily employed when no other options
exist to protect the well being -- and very lives -- of the women
involved. Or when a fetus has severe abnormalities precluding its

George Bush, who doesn't read newspapers and can't properly pronounce
common words, outlandishly claims such abortions are "never" needed, a
view strenuously contradicted by medical professionals. 

Because it provides no avenues for assuring female health, legal
challenges are certain. An ultimate Supreme Court decision is

Pro-choice forces recognize that the partial birth ban is a cynical
contrivance aimed at manipulating public sentiment against all
abortions, with a complete reversal of Roe v. Wade as the eventual
goal. This demagoguery is being spearheaded by
Republicans/conservatives who profess a pious sanctity for "all

I don't question the principled
sincerity of some souls opposed to abortion. But I do condemn the
sophistry of those who hammer this issue as a wedge to further the
entire rightwing agenda. 

central thrust of reactionary opposition to abortion is a decisive
extension of benighted, retrograde resistance to women's suffrage and
"liberation". They want to beat back female gains, just as they've done
key aspects of the New Deal and Great Society, for their own
self-serving purposes. 

Corporate super-profits come largely from
underpaid women in the workforce. How can bosses defeat demands for
economic justice? By thwarting unity through stirring up further
abortion controversy. What better way to divide, conquer, and continue
to lucratively exploit? 

Conservatives would really have a hard case attempting to prove they're
"for" children. 

They've resisted greater funding (or advocated cutbacks) in the WIC
program, Head Start, and Reading is Fundamental, which have been
broadly beneficial for years. 

They've consistently opposed
minimum wage hikes, which would translate into improved living
conditions for millions of American families. 

They've sided with Big Tobacco, entrenching its deadly marketing of
cigarettes to children. 

18,000 Americans die per year due to a lack of health insurance. Of our
44 million with no medical coverage, at least 10 million are kids. 

Republicans staunchly oppose any effort to give our people the national
healthcare that every other industrialized country possesses. As pawns
of private-profit insurance giants, they're literally killing sick and
injured kids by denying them the quality healthcare their parents could

They favor "tort reform" that would make it
far harder for parents whose children are hurt or killed by defective
consumer products to acquire adequate compensation through appropriate
law suits against negligent companies. 

They show abject servility to the NRA, resulting in weak handgun
control, causing deaths among thousands of American kids annually. 

By focusing only on abstinence as a counter to sexual activity among
youth, they contribute to the spread of STD's, and unwanted
pregnancies, as they continue to take a prudish stand on sex education
and contraceptive availability. 

They lobby against governmental daycare and healthcare relief for the
poor, arguing that "personal responsibility" ought to be utilized
instead. This churlish view is applied to all federal efforts designed
to combat poverty. 

By constantly pushing for vouchers, plus always resisting attempts to
finance impoverished school districts on an equalized basis with richer
ones, conservatives are, themselves, largely responsible for the
deterioration of public schools that they then castigate. 

By favoring polluting industries -- through less stringent
environmental standards -- conservatives facilitate an ecological
degradation that affects the young first. 

By pursuing war to build
defacto empire, Republicans destine children at home and abroad to
violent deaths. Among the thousands of Iraqi civilians destroyed in
Bush's gratuitous invasion are undoubtedly countless "unborn babies",
and a multitude of innocent women and children. 

Have they ever merited pity from the Right? No, but what a rainfall of
crocodile tears for aborted fetuses! How intellectually and morally
bankrupt it is to claim to defend the imagined rights of even the
initial union of sperm and egg -- a mere dot on a microscope slide --
while systematically, selfishly harming already-born children on a
staggering scale. 

Countless programs and policies originally
conceived by liberals to help needy citizens, especially the fragile
young, have been eviscerated as more and more tax dollars have gone
into corporate welfare and for military excess. 

The GOP of today, awash in abysmal greed, is a far cry from the party
of Abraham Lincoln. Or even Charles Percy and Ed Brooke. 

Behind its mask of false morality is a hideous monster devouring our

Our whole society is being sacrificed on the altar of capitalism run
amok, as are societies overseas. Blood drips profusely from sharp teeth
that poorly feign a compassionate smile. 

Once an ancient
god to whom children were ritually offered, Moloch is now a relentless
political beast preying upon our human essence...and on America's

Acting in determined concert, we can put an end to this barbaric

We need to continue resisting the Iraq aggression, defeat the Patriot
Act, honor organizing efforts initiated by unions striving for worker
dignity, defend minority rights, and protect our threatened natural
environment. Importantly, we need to be in Washington on April 25,
2004, to "Save Women's Lives: March for Freedom of Choice". 

Registering enough new, progressive voters to prevent a repeat of
2000's election theft is also crucial. 

Finally, we must tirelessly fight to shield and nurture our vulnerable
young from neo-con predation. 

We have the power to send Moloch, hungry and sulking, back to his dark
place of origin.


Rahkonen, from Superior, WI, has written for Liberal Slant,
and other various progressive outlets for more than thirty years. He
was long
associated with the Finnish-American Tyomies (Workingman) progressive
house. He can be reached at


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"Nazi Punks Fuck Off" jello biafra Punk
ain't no
religious cult Punk means thinking for yourself You ain't hardcore cos
you spike your hair When a jock still lives inside your head

Nazi punks Nazi punks Nazi punks-Fuck Off!

Nazi punks Nazi punks Nazi punks-Fuck Off!

you've come to fight, get outa here You ain't no better than the
bouncers We ain't trying to be police When you ape the cops it ain't

[Repeat chorus]

Ten guys jump one, what a man You
fight each other, the police state wins Stab your backs when you trash
our halls Trash a bank if you've got real balls

You still think
swastikas look cool The real nazis run your schools They're coaches,
businessmen and cops In a real fourth reich you'll be the first to go

[Repeat chorus]

be the first to go You'll be the first to go You'll be the first to go
Unless you think Make a quick
comment on this art!

young punks
don't all know, but i mean young like fifteen. young punks don't all
know that the same stuff that is blowing up now has been a pain in the
ass for years and years. but that's cool.

my story is about the
hardcore scene in philadelphia in the mid eighties. it centered around
clubs that had all ages dance parties, depeche mode was still almost
unheard of outside the goth scenes and other stuff was happening too.
cromags, black flag, original bad brains, like all the seeds of now.
and this was also the time when revival
was open.

revival, a club
at 2 and market, was punk as fuck a ot of the time, it was cool and
people could go to dance at all ages shows. naturally it attracted a
big punk crowd. i was thirteen and helped put ouy a zine there.

Skins for Unity/AntiRacist Action first showed up to oppose
nazi punk aggression in the slam pit.

you got to realise that this was before the word MOSH was even
really used a lot. it was still slam dancing. 1983.

my perspective was that there was a thriving scene based on
the old spray paint tag UNITY COGNITION.

Atlantic City Skins were a malevolent Nazi presence. they
would go into thepit and bite people.

gave rise to the controversial groups like SHARP, SFU and Anti-Racist
Action. To be solid together, walk together talk together and to give
the Nazis total direct disrespect.

Sad part was that the Revival
was closed down. The Nazi punks ruined the show and that is why
Socialism is really bad for anarchism. Hitler and Stalin used socialism
to get ahead, Socialism is a Statist philosophy at its most harmless
and at its worse it is Totalitarian.

That is the past. Revival,
Memphis, Club Pizazz, Funk Dungeon, KillTime, and other great venues in
Philly are all closed now because of the confusion of punk anarchists
concerning collectivism, socialism and communism. these are Statist
philosophies: if you've really wondered why things seem to not work for
local movements and why scense die it is because of racism in scenes,
and Statist Philosophy disguised as anarchism.

Stalin "collected" the farms of the jews who lived in Soviet Russia.
Anyone he didn't like he shot or put behind bars. Collectivism is bad
for any anarchist movement, no exceptions.

Socialism and Communism take from the poor and give to the

reason these have infiltrated is part because there aren't ever as many
old punks as there are young punks. many punks are dropouts and never
get to learn about Hitler's National Socialist (Nazi) philosophy or
Stalin's perverse anti-jew "pogroms" and "purges"; but he was like
Slobodan Milosevic as far as campaigns of ethnic cleansing were

That being said, people have gotten confused in their
urge to oppose capitalism. few people in scnes today have an active
understanding of the roots of Anarcho-syndicalism, its noncompromising
rejection of racism and classism.

(Socialism fans the fires of
class war and thus scenes get polarized by factors which should not
matter to anarchists. Syndicalis borrows and shares freely from many
philosophies as the individual deems appropriate)

one of confusion, and the real nazi socialists among us will continue
to obscure the truth because they want power.

that the original wooden Shoe burned down "mysteriously" and its new
place right around the corner from where the hippies meet is run by a
solid and clannish collectivist clique.

anarchism still happens in philly.

blows but it's a part of life. there is a tri state scene but the
suckiness of septa makes it so it is largely sporadic. philly delaware
and jersey punks could maybe do things to get all together and party
hearty; you got to get up to get down but you don't have to be
socialist to be social.

But people should realise that Socialism
and Collectivism will never never be anarchist no matter how hard they
claim otherwise. if you drive up an a red car and tell everyone "hey
look at my cool black car" those who can see will know you are lying...

like we have all this time.

anarchists should look out! the determined, nationalist socialists will
tell lies and utilize the old GOP trick of slander the opposition: that
is how Totaitarian philosophy has always operated.

it's important when there are more and more young kids all the
time getting into direct action and protest.

is real, sure! But it is an oxymoron. The class consciousness that
communism demands is just another flavor of racism, it's cultural
racsim and thus scenes fracture and fall apart, all punks are not from
the same walk of life. so look out for obvious "Anarchist Leaders"
disguised as "facilitators" or "co-ordinators"; this is the stuff that
ruins anarchist scenes. They want you to stay clueless so that they can
secretly get off on the power thatcomes from ruling a clueless scene.
Have you seen this "trend"? scenes come up, get crucial, then slowly
dissapate. That is the role socialism plays, dividing people who could
perhaps syndicalize and get creatively active. beware of people who
can't talk about others without referring to their skin color: that is
subtle til you see it for what it is, friendly Mussolini vibes in torn
pants and camo.

The wooden shoe and the a-space provide
anarchists with places to hang out and read or play music and drink
coffee. but because of what is above things are sort of on the lame tip.

be quite frank it's like a ghost town. but there are these places where
people can do things: there are very few actual anarchists and a lot of
negative people who enforce consensus and call it scene unity.

unity is people who really care about each other hanging together and
doing things. when it is just cliquish intimidation and peer pressure
it's counteractive to spontanaeity. Collectivists gotta insist on their
consensus, schedules rule everyone's life cause nobody really cares,
and of course the people who are greedy for power lie to keep th epower
they have.

defenestrate THAT.

the original skinheads were
for class unity, they shaved their heads to emulate the buddhists and
shaolin types. the Nazis then infiltrated the same way that Socialism
has infiltrated anarchism in the Philly scene, and why the scene is
foundering and needs help.

- e-mail:: bongo_6900@yahoo.com

legend of drunken reject: chip and bongo
fight at the catbox: 2003

By bongo

    it was really retarded. i don;t think
    chip had any intention of fighting broken from the getgo.
    (previously entitled: when anarchists attack)

it was really
retarded. i don;t think chip had any intention of fighting broken from
the getgo.
(previously entitled: when anarchists attack)

all started when chip made the mistake of telling broken that he had
some karate instruction in the eighties. that might be true, chip is
old and slightly insane. who knows what the fuck is capable of?

broken had asked chip to teach him how to fight months ago -- with
weapons. chip made some kind of excuse or put it off or something. but
we were ALL THERE at the catbox for some show, i think syzlak was
playing or something.

it was
ridiculous. chip just stood there smiling as broken approached him
timidly and yet tenaciously. but broken actually ended up puncing chip
in the face a couple of times. as i recall they were both already
really drunk.

i think kathy
chang summed it up when she implied that violent revoilutions wil
always bring about a police state no better than whatever they intended
to oppose. This was the case in France, where the french revolution
gave the world napoleon..of course we all know the horrible cosmic joke
and insult to the worlds "freedom", "liberty" and "justice" the america
revolution really was.

also, i think chip actually
really likes broken a lot and wouldn't actually hurt him or even try
to. so i asked him myself.

if i actually screwed the drunken little student up badly, broke his
leg or something? and then something happened and broken had to run
from the cops? i would feel terrible? besides...hurting people is what
THEY do. i think we as a community and the movement potentially have
the brains to rise above that sort of petty behavior. it's less than

let's face it: chip is a
discordian...who can tell what he will say and do next?

it was probably really all
about some GIRL anyway and that is the world's stupidest thing to fight
about ever, period.

a related story: do they still have that drawing of the chick with the
swastikas on the wall as you go there - the catbox?
i really don't like
that drawing.


was in ARA "back in the day" he likes flowers
and other cute things. his favorite pokemon is raichu.


oh, hello you stinking ass nazi punks. why are you reading this? GO


Love, steal_angel@animenetwork.com

Lessons learned from September Eleventh 2002: Can’t trust Bush!

you really want to feel betrayed and disappointed when the truth comes
out. Let’s see…I‘m having trouble making the connection. Prescott
Bush and the millions he paid the Nazi German government, Prescott Bush
financed the killing of American soldiers and was caught for it.
Well-documented…public record…

George Herbert Walker Bush, PrescottÂ’s sonÂ…and
his determination to create a “New World Order”

war in Iraq is a rare opportunity to move toward an historic period of
cooperation. Out of these troubled times...a new world order can

--george herbert walker bush (the whimp)

Oh, great. I see. So then we get to the current
manifestation of Bush lunacy. Great! For big business and the big
business of killing.

You know; Arabs are Semites.

I love
the dictionary because tired old words can get dusted off and viewed
for relevance. And Arabs are Semites. It bears as much repeating as
does the name of Prescott Bush, noted American Nazi Sympathizer and
grandfather of George W. Bush. So here it is for you.


1. A
member of a group of Semitic-speaking peoples of the Near East and
northern Africa, including the Arabs, Arameans, Babylonians,
Carthaginians, Ethiopians, Hebrews, and Phoenicians.

2. A Jew.

Bible. A descendant of Shem.

So to the list of notorious
anti-semites like  Stalin and Hitler we can add
ugly ugly. kills. ignores commandments. do time, piggo.Ariel "ZionNazi"
, who has a gross body count i lack statistics
on, and George Bush Senior AND Junior, who have slain their share of
Semites and are on the crusade for more bodybags (to be censored from
American televisions -- "in the interest of NWO Security."

the politicians have almost gagged the major media from telling the
truth, misinforming the public becomes simple, until a money hungry
racist can get huge approval ratings from a public scammed into
believeing he is as honest and caring as he projected.

Sometimes people
want to clain that the polling systems are flawed--they could be
reasonably accurate with the now-traditional +/- 2 pct...but the group
polled have been suckered already, of course they approve. They don't
know the whole story.

it's so bad now that CNN is gagged from
breaking the story of the Bush+Nazi connection, the millions the Bush
family gave to the Third Reich in 1942, because it might threaten NWO

The notorious anti-Semitism of the Bush Family has been
seen now in two obvious generations, Dubya has already killed many
Afghanis: I wonder if anyone is maintaining a death count for our
American Military Dictator. Hail to the thief! Maybe he can be
prohibited from acting out plans for reign-of-fire murderous intent
genocide against the civilian population of women and children in Iraq.
They are also victims of another dictator, but maybe we in America can
take out our own trash. To speak metaphorically.

Prescott Bush’s
supplying of the German National Socialist Party with money while
Americans were dying on the battlefields of the European Theater of
Operations was treason to be sure. Treason, simple and plain.

And in
1942, to the shock and horror of Prescott Bush, this news was on the
cover of the New York Herald-Tribune. July 1942! Daily paper. Every New
Yorker saw it then. Connections between the Bush family and the Thyssen
family, financial survivors of the Third Reich who even now dominate
German economy...these connections between families still exist between
George W. Bush and the Germans financiers who still cling, albeit
secretly, to the principles of Hitler and the other infamous National
Socialists of the 1930s – 1940s.

The roots of Nationalistic
Socialism reach deep, including Stalin and the notorious pogroms and
purges of Russian history and legend, including Hitler’s hatefilled
campaign of genocide.

There is something to be noted about the
American President, his family’s ties to the Nazi menace, the scandal
that shamed Prescott Bush and moved their objectively treasonous
financial dealings into secrecy. Something to be noted, and the reason
why there is a United Nations is, among other reasons, to try criminals
against the entire world, criminals who have inflated the seeming
threat of a Saddam Hussein to cover up their own agenda of race hate
and organized terrorism.

Were the women of Kabul, Afghanistan
"terrorized" by the threat of warfare before the bombs came down, bombs
paid for by a United States generally uninformed about the true agendas
of their leaders? It is obvious that they were "terrorized" when the
bombs started falling, they were "terrorized" and killed.

is something to be noted about the connection between the current
generations of the Bush family. And it is something that could
conceivably save the United States and improve life for many people.

There IS a world court, there ARE venues in which treasonous
criminals can be tried and brought to justice.

They exist and are as objectively real as the body count of
Nazi aggression in World War Two.

is something to be noted about people in our current government who are
in bed with the German industrialists who escaped. And there is so much
evidence that it shows in major ways.

Sewing it all together. You
get that waxy heavy thread, or maybe some floss. The thing about sewing
is that if you approach it in a certain way it isn’t really work,
it’s relaxing like meditation or washing dishes. Maybe blow it all
off… do something else. Damn! The government is so lousy.
They…sometimes I wish somebody could actually do something...

that solid sound philosophical vehicle that just doesn’t work. Really.
Anarchism’s not working and that’s cool with me. I am an
existentialist anyway.

So I woke up and hopped into my
philosophical vehicle and drove myself insane. It was a short trip and
really scenic. And anarchism is just not working. “Retired at 21”

Cycle Four…do they even make that anymore? I am going off meat
anyway. Soon.

society while the old one is rotting right around us, people are
creating new ideas that the Nazis, the Totalitarians, the Ashcrofts and
the Stalins of the world can’t see and wouldn’t be interested in
being involved in, utopian conceptions of existence so passionate,
intellectual and sublime that the Fascists of the world, Left and
Right, wouldn’t want to be involved.

Being free thinking and
free willed and full of love for life is boring and corny to them, they
aren’t really interested. So leave them, just let them by as flesh
puppets to their own hate-and-death-addicted doctrines.

with no coerced labor…they all are "left" in their intellectual
cul-de-sac when the actual anarchists do our own thing and there can be
consensus, but coerced consensus?

like Communism where it only
works if everyone agrees…without masters to lay down the lash, we can
of course do what we feel like doing, working through our own
realities, or own inner network of whatever we have inside us, but we
can do it on our own, out of free choice.

If people WANT to get
together and build a huge platform in the woods our of deadfall that
they can stand on and jump up and down and play drums all night, they
can if they WANT to because they want to.

it’s less like the
coerced-labor drudgery of punching the time clock, day in, day out
whether one wishes to or not because they fear the lash of economically
imposed dearth. What is good is that there are all sorts of

the gymnast nadia comaneci was a genius in her
particular moving center intelligence, the same as Einstein was a
genius in his reflective mental reasoning way. There are all sorts of
types of genius, but the anti-intellectuals of the world, and there are
many, find ways to detest almost all these different manifestations of
human excellence.

so leave them, if you like, in the evolutionary
cul-de-sac, the place where no growth is taking place, change is
generally rejected out of hand, that very mentally static place where
the same slogans and doctrine are leaned on as if nothing could ever be
better and new ideas are to be scorned and ruined.

if some folks
rolled in with new strategies, all about anarchistic notions like
spontaneity, freewill and a total rejection of the notion of coerced
labor…this anti-intellectual faction in our midst would start
sabotaging it with seemingly innocuous questions”what about”

mistrust and all the time gritting pearly white teeth and doing that
clenched and very forced smile of seeming innocence…or something. but
do you get the jist?

fearing what they don’t understand they end
up clinging to worn old doctrines that have failed to bring about

While the state rather
obviously, publicly smashes itself, I can will and do mourn on my own
for the energy and life force of beautiful young girls – for an
example -- convinced that the best thing they can do for anarchy is to
get in front of cops who swing their batons cause they are trapped into
their social position, a place of very little free will.

and I
will feel a distant pity for people who would rather smear and slander
those who disagree with them out of a prideful addiction to their own
way of thinking.

but look how life keeps going on anyway, life
keeps going on. There have been people who have criticized me and my
fellow anarchists as lifestylists or poseurs because we are slow, very
very slow to embrace the philosophies that empowered Lenin and Stalin.

(Stalin? STALIN? I get into my philosophical vehicle and slam
it into reverse. Holy shit.)

don’t, I guess, know about Totalitarianism, but they are embracing the
seeds of it and calling it anarchist politics. And that’s cool cause
there is free will, even if people want to say that there isn’t any.
And that is the evolutionary-cul-de-sac, I am gonna hop into my
philosophical vehicle and keep driving. (somebody had the guts to say
to me the other day that 99% percent of anarchists were socialists. i
wondered where she was getting her "statist"ics.)

so while people
see me fading in their rearview vanishing towards the anarchist utopia
of many people’s dreams, I hear them bitterly “stating”
that I am
lying to myselfÂ…I even tried to help. I would never of my own
help people strengthen Capitalist Totalitarianism, or Corpocracy, but I
definitely know that Nationalistic Socialistic
Neville Chamberlain trusted them. Anti-intellectuals probably
even crack a fucking book and find out who Neville Chamberlain was; he
was the guy that said “Oh, Herr Hitler? Thumbs up! The world is
saved,” and then Hitler, a Nationalist, and a Socialist…ugh.

I understand that they have a limited American worldview. But I see
Socialism in the context of being part of the world at large. Who is
the proletariat in America?

If you as socialists are working for
the dictatorship of the proletariat, do you know who the proletarian
dictator in America is?

Let me break it down for you.

Gushing oil wells.

Smug smiles of immovable, unimpeachable power.


Do you see Tricky Dick?Tricky Dick

work for him, they are blue collar and they are loyal to their boss.
They’re NOT anarchists, I know that some people wish they could force
everyone to think the way they do but –- these are the American
workers, the American working class a lot of them are really

The dictator of the proletariat, the working class
leader is right now GEORGE W. BUSH. Philosophies can stay stuck,
unchanging, in the books and manifestoes philosophers write…but at the
same time the subject of these philosophies are moving around, doing
things, changing. Trotsky and StalinÂ’s contemporaries are all
dead or
really really old now. But the proletariat in America have embraced GW
Bush. And young American Socialists, as long as they continue to fan
the flames of class war…it’s less than obvious which is how people
get suckered. Maybe they hate the government so they think with logic:
the way to oppose Capitalism is to be a Socialist, or a Communist.
That’s fine logical thinking but look at Russia today. Communism there
is a bitter old dream or a worn out joke: the government has embraced
Capitalism. There’s so much evidence of this. But the great sadness
and also the hope for every dream of tomorrow can be found in American
anti-intellectualism. Many people feel more terrorized by their brutal
truncheon of a government than anything else. And the government rules
over people by keeping us stupid and afraid to manifest their inner
intelligence, that inner genius that I was talking about nadia comaneci
and Einstein manifesting?

As long as intelligent people are
crippled by low self esteem, you’ve been marginalized by a state, a
Corporate State whose idea of a good time is inserting a Commander –
In – Chief who canÂ’t say the word “Nuclear.”


tried to embrace the words that the mean-spirited and proudly
dull-witted used to cripple and humiliate the souls of the
intellectually and emotionally passionate who made them feel threatened.

it does is force you to hate yourself. And that’s what I mean. The
state WINS when people who could have genius level ideas wind up hating
themselves, and shoving themselves into whatever social box has been
created for them by a state who sees them only as either power sources
to be used and discarded, or doesn’t see us at all.

I prefer not being seen by them actually.

shame in your game

wrong that they have a leader with a profound and rather obvious
learning disability. It’s a boring day, I got nothing to do, I’ll get
a bunch of retards and drive ‘em to the White House. Put suits on ‘em
. put em in charge.

but i didn't go to work today. i don't think i'll go tomorrow.

FOR ANYONE WHO READ THIS ARTICLE) you probably do indymedia a lot...i
think it's crucial that the U. S. was storing illegal WMD'S (bunker
buster tac-nukes) in Holland where such things are completely illegal.
that's the same thing they are policing Hussein on. the story was
suppressed but here is a plice report. check it out. and here's a link,
too. http://www.motherearth.org/news/news.php?art=69knPs

have fun

(1 comment | comment on this)

Saturday, May 28th, 2005
3:39 pm - my movie pitch: S. P. I. D. E. R. S.

SINCE i am a young genius and we are entering the new age of heartless acquistion i play in real life a filmmaker who is dying of aids and is delerious with surrealist objective fever dream and giving away the ideas w\that wil be great after i die of low t-cell in 2008. of course i am that artist and yes, i am dying of AIDS.

AUDIO VISUAL AIDS...he croaked weirdly..the worst kind.
anyway the film is called

S. P. I. D. E. R. S.

Satanic Punks in Denial Eat Real Shit

but what's it ABOUT...what happens, what moves the characters? is it the mise 'en scene of Artaud that is laid out before you sumptuous like a smorgasbord? or is it more like Punk Odesseus sent forward in time and lodaed up with chainsaws and napam and thenm sent back to before the founding of athens to slay in full garisn hyper Saturated color all the Satyrs and fauns, all those fun demons and devils that wandered throug hthe primeval Hellas-wood raping dryads and Cher?

Is it about MOLECULE MAN, the world's tiniest living asshole, who hates your blood and shirks to a tiny tiny paramecium so he can crawl up your ass and rape you AND TAKE PICTURES and share them with sick demented fans of Katie Couric?

(comment on this)

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
9:16 am - Dorrinnicax Slew the Malekith

i wanted it to be that way.
Dorrinnicax Terra Knightshade: the jade warden. after all those centuries the sword of Kings, excalibur found a worthy hand in the fist of morgaine le fey, seducer of men, immortal and grim.

and it told morgaine, the seducer of men, morgaine le fey, its deepest abilities, theings Arthur the Pendragon had never figured out.

she walked on water. she moved through the earth loke an earthworm protected by the sword's green energy. wheevere she went she was beloved and hailed as Syr Ina, the Green Guardian.

You are a

Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes
against everything you belive in. It's not that
you are a coward, but your ideals and morals
wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do
the righteous things, get the bad guys and do
it all legally. But just because you don't kill
doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is
what you do. You use your brain and your
strenght to do honourable deeds and protect
people you know and love. If an evil guy is
going to take over the world soon, it's you who
will get involved. You hate watching innocents
suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what
they deserve. You are probably also happy and
optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And
the friends you usually make are true ones.

Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Facial expression: Smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla
Malekith The Accursed --

he tried to kill her. no one knows where the evil drow-elf came from but some say he was Loki's ZBlack Cat turned elfin by black magics. either way the Green Sword of Destiny felt his evil presence and couted JADE FLAMES!

malekith died horribly
a biodegradeble black smear on the Fields of Phovanon that saw no further changes.

WOULD you like to know how it happened? would you like to know more, of the fey D'rinni'cax, the yellow flower of ancient, Syr Ina of Knightshade, the immortal one?

she's right here, behind me,

she is the angel of my right and left shoulders.

NO one knew the silent women
destiny had shrouded them in black
one a shadow, one a shroud, wore...

to be continued'

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Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004
10:48 am - Cards and writer's block

This is being cross posted in Non Fluffy Pagans and Just_write so ignore the bits that don't apply to you.
Over the weekend I bought a new set of tarot cards. I bought them for a character in a story that I'm working on. He's a Druid, a police detective and has a raven for a familiar, a mouthy raven at that. I bought the cards because they looked like the cards he would use and I hoped that they would help me get my brain started again.
I just haven't had much luck with cards lately, not my old cards not these new cards not with the cards in a game of solitaire.
So for the Pagans; what's your favorite way to get in touch with a new pack of cards.
and for the Writers the eternal question; short of beating yourself with a baseball bat how to you get reengaged with your writing?

(2 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, March 21st, 2004
12:02 am - stuck!

I pleading for help. I'm 42 pages in and have a group of 26 vampires about to extract revenge on 9 church goers, thier families, and the whole congragation at midnight mass. I have 53 people to brutally tormant and kill. I need ideas on the whole scene. Anybody have any? I do apologize to anyone who might be offended at my request on how to kill a lot of church people. I mean no harm, but it is my story. Thank you all so much for any idea's you might have.

current mood: crazy

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Thursday, March 11th, 2004
7:39 pm - Hello to you all :)

Hello everyone :) My name is Megan, I'm 20, a junior in college. I'm in school for writing and for literature, and my major is, of course, English. Hoping to go to grad school here but there isn't a creative writing grad program, so if I can't do that then I'm going to go for a masters in lit. I am also the managing editor of my campus' literary magazine, The Trident. *WHOO* It was just decided tonight so I'm still on a high.

Anyway, that's enough of an intro for me...

I am posting in here tonight because my friends are worthless and I need help. Heh. I have a poem. Well, it's more of a line that I can't seem to develop. It has been running through my head for the past couple of weeks (which is saying something, because I have never remembered a line like this for more than five minutes), and I have tried to develop it but it just won't come out. I have been blocked since a ... tragedy ... I went through in October and have had a hard time writing really anything since then.

Anyway, here is what I have on it so far:

Here's to you in the snow,
Floating at my window on cold air-trodding steps.
I see your steps in the snow (,)
[Fingerprints left on my window]

The parts in parentheses and brackets I'm not sure about.

The repetition is intentional.

If someone could give me a suggestion for a next line, utilizing the one in brackets or not, anything, I think I could go from there. Even if it's just a basic statement or something, I feel like I could tweak it later, but I'm so frustrated that I need to get this line into something, and I just can't seem to be able to do it.

Would anyone be willing to help me out with the next line? I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you in advance :)

Oh, and I'm not looking to change any of the first three lines, because I have worked them over many many times and each word is deliberate and serves a purpose overall. I just can't seem to get anywhere with the fragment. :\

My writing journal is at singcalliope if anyone has the urge to check out my other stuff :)

current mood: bouncy

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Monday, December 8th, 2003
1:07 pm


oh child, you're going to fall--
the word won't have meaning until after it's spoken,
the world won't have meaning until after you're caught.
in a brazen age, we didn't know love's sway,
but a single snowflake fell that day.

and they danced
in a lovestorm of snow.

it fell unnoticed, yet it
fell just the same
lingering, whispering, desiring...
patterned by a hundred silver tears,
a hundred quiet fears,
and a candlelight forgiveness for two.
a gust of wind blew mother's ashes,
i blinked a snowflake from my lashes.

and they danced
in a lovestorm of snow.

under a quilted sky, it lay...
icy to the mit, trodden by a shoe,
balled up fists of passion
and where one hit,
a hundred flakes broke through.

they will not melt
at winter's go.
we have survived death once,
and cried all of april's rain.
i've fallen on a bed of snow.

and there are a hundred snowflakes for every time i fell.

© lauren 2003

critiques and feedback are welcomed & encouraged.

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Wednesday, November 12th, 2003
1:39 pm - A poem by me (X-posted in my own journal)

I've lost my words
It seems you have too
I haven't got much to say
Between me and you
I can't believe
That I've done it again
Whenever I get frustrated with you
And speak my mind
I look like the bad guy
And I start to cry
I'm sick of caring
Not just about you
But anyone
I think I care too much
Then I'm the one who gets hurt
I wish I could numb my senses
So that I can just go on not feeling
For anyone or anything

current mood: okay

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Thursday, October 16th, 2003
7:31 pm - Now, Where did I leave my brain

After days of perking along, putting out three or four pages a day I have stopped. Not willingly, I assure you. The words come one sentence at a time, seemingly at thirty minute intervals. Sentences that should just trip off the fingers are stumbling over their feet and having to be removed with tweezers. Terribly difficult sentences like "The dress was tres cool, a little sliver sheath with a slit on one side."
Maybe the problem is that it's dank out and I've had a migraine most of the day. Maybe it's that I don't know what goes on in the cocktail party/seance until the medium lets a clue drop.
Anyway, I'll go back to my tweezers now.

current mood: cranky

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Saturday, September 13th, 2003
6:59 pm

hey, everybody. this is your friendly maintainer poking her head in to see how everything's going. also, i have a tip for fiction writers who have trouble coming up with plotlines: read every piece of the newspaper. a friend of mine told me about an article he discovered recently that would make an excellent writing subject: a woman who was trying to use an ATM machine was shocked when a man ran up to her as though to rob her. however, the man simply handed her a stack of poetry and ran off. she was so bewildered that she called the police and the newspaper got ahold of the story. small things like that can help blocked writers weave together entire storylines--especially when blended with other articles.

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